For each generation, there is a certain musical style and dress that defines them for life. Take the current elderly population, they enjoy wearing polyester, jumpsuits, high water pants (my personal favorite), and layers of clothing that don’t exactly match. Ladies over 60 often wear slips and hose when wearing a duster at home. Gentlemen past 65 combine light colored coveralls with dark socks and orthopedic shoes. Big band, swing, Sinatra, and the golden oldies of the ’50’s are the music of choice for the greatest generation.

So what will the nursing homes look like in 2040? I suspect men will sport fading mullets while the women will instruct the hairstylist to rat their bangs a little higher for the ‘mall’ look of 1986. No longer will polyester flowers decorate the closets of the future senior citizen. No, hanging from the retro wire hangers will be parachute pants, mini skirts, stirrup pants, Polo shirts, plaid shorts, and the ever popular spandex pants made famous by David Lee Roth. Instead of instrumental music as the background at dinner, Def Leppard and a little MC Hammer will distract us from the pureed meatloaf. Uno and Skipbo tournaments will replace weekly Bingo games. Classic movies like Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Star Wars, and Highlander will be shown every weekend. The Madonna DVD collection can be substituted on long weekends, when everyone needs a nap.
No one considered how ridiculous neon lipstick looked like at age 15, or how the excessive use of Rave #4 hairspray would damage the ozone layer. I regret to say that in 2040, I will be the crazy lady in room 206 with big mall hair, fuschia pink lips, and a tight pair of acid washed jeans.

He who laughs first will have a mullet later.