Remember the game gossip? People sit in a circle and one person tells a secret to the next person on their right, and it is repeated around the circle until finally the beginning person receives a tidbit of information that hardly resembles the orginal information?

Welcome to the nursing home version. 
It started with my husband’s injury last week. 
Somewhere along the way, with four days of incubation, here is what I was asked and told today of his predicament:

“Heard your husband fell off of a bridge.”
“What happened to that fella that jumped off of a roof?”
“Someone said your husband was running from the police….”
“When is the funeral?”

Try as I might, I could not convince any of them what really happened. Truthfully, their versions were much more entertaining.  One of my favorite patients, Mr. Crotchety (an alias, of course, but dead on description) counseled me on the needs of men with ailments. 
Um, I am a PT, so I think I got this one.
Not according to ole Crotchety.  Apparently men need the following in order to recuperate:

• the three staples in life:  sex, sweets, and sleep. 
• complete control over the remote control.
• unlimited quantities of bourbon and cheese. 

Miss Nosey argued with him about the sex part.  Her point being that if he had problems walking, he surely didn’t need any other physical activities that might aggravate his condition.

“That’s exactly the kind of activity every man needs,” Mr. Crotchety snorted.  “Hell, a man with both legs shot off and one eye plucked out still needs a little action.”

But bourbon and cheese?  Uh uh.  Not going there.