I’m not saying that the patient looked like this but what I am saying is he channeled the spirit of this fictional character with the ever popular addition of a Foley Catheter leg bag and a pair of red sweatpants worn inside out.
When a cross eyed nurse warns you not to bother the sleeping monster, take heed.  But no, I had to swagger in like Rambo-ette with a mission to teach this frail 88 year old the proper way to stand up and walk with a rolling walker. 
He had other ideas.
Leave me alone, I tell you.  He rolled over to ignore me.
Within three seconds of my second question, I was confronted with a modified sidelying spin kick from this supposedly osteoporotic resident who now confirmed the rumor he was a Black Ops secret agent trained by an Asian faction responsible for the downfall of “Charlie”.
Luckily for me, I studied the first two Matrix movies (Trinity specifically) for reaction, response, and great acrobatic moves.  His non-skid sock barely grazed my stomach as I launched into a backbend followed by a rapid recovery into standing.
So, are you ready to get up now?
Gotta give the man props, he broke out the classic Karate Kid Wipe on/Wipe Off on me.  Again, I relied on my Trinity role model but then added a Lara Croft Twist, the side glance and step.
In the end, we stared at each other with a mix of respect, awe, and a desire for pudding. 
Pudding?
That’s all I needed, it turns out, to get him out of bed.  A bowl of banana pudding.