You know those annoying commercials that end with people in bathtubs outdoors?  Come on, OUTDOORS?  Think of that 30 second spot echoing down three nursing home halls…over and over and over.

Subliminal experts are right…what you hear in the background sinks into the psyche.

“Hey, therapy girl, you ever used of that Cialalala stuff?” Hornrimmed glasses man asks.
“You fool, it’s not lalala.”  Mabel, the petite COGIC lifetime member chides.  “SEE-AL-US.  And you got no business thinking ’bout that.”
“Why not?  I am a man, you know.”  He peddles harder on his leg bike to prove it.  “Answer the question, Trish.”

After explaining ED drugs are for men and this really wasn’t a subject appropriate for discussion, Miss Pessimistic chimes in.

“When I was young and the sailors came into port, we went dancing.”  Her eyebrows jump up and down.  “Lemme tell you girlie, those boys could do a thing or two and it didn’t take no blue pill to do it.

Hornrimmed perks up.  “Oh yea?  What kind of things?”

“Whaddya think, I’m gonna kiss and tell?  Get the helloutta here.”

“I bet there’s was more than kissing, you old tramp,” Hornrimmed mutters.

“Now I knew this floozy, Darla, boy oh boy did she screw around.”  All eyes focus on Miss Pessimistic.  “They called her the Albany Express if you know what I mean.”  Choo choo sounds fill the room before laughter from every patient, including Mabel.

And then the stories tumble out.  One patient’s brother took black and white photos before, during and after many of his one night stands.  Mr. Hardy begins to detail his French connection in the war but Mabel quiets him down.  “I’m not gonna tell you again, old man.  None of us here need to know everywhere your lil pencil’s been in this world.  Ain’t no lead left in it no way.”

Mr. Hardy squints his eyes, turning four shades of red before kicking the bike halfway across the room.

“Women!”

As he propels his wheelchair out of the rehab room, Mabel calls out to him.

“Ah, don’t go away mad.  I hear those blue pills will make old pencils shrivel up anyway.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 15th, 2009 at 1:49 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.