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November 06, 2005
If I never see an orange apron again, it will be too soon
It started with curtain rods. Just a simple curtain rod for the new door, nothing difficult or so I thought.
Seeing as we have installed a fiberglass door, the normal magnetic rods cannot work. I explained this to Mr. Hammerhead, an elderly male employee complete with a toolbelt, orange apron, and a penchant for weaving his personal story into every encounter with customers.
"You see, young lady, what you need is this here thingamajig." He pointed at the magnetic rod.
"I've tried that, but it didn't work."
"When I was remodeling my house with Sherline, we used these on the back trailer window, and lemme tell you it worked like a charm. It's what you call magnetitized." His eyes lit up at the prospect of all things magnetized.
"But my door isn't metal, it's fiberglass."
"I had a fiberglass boat once, was the fastest thing on Lake Texhoma until Sherline's dumbass boy went to drinking and wrecked in round one of those boueys."
"What I need is a curtain rod that I can screw into the fiberglass door." My voice quivered with frustration but only my children picked up on it. They froze in place near the sale rugs.
"Where is your husband? Girl, you need a man to do any type of manual labor. Why, my Sherline, she don't know what a Phillips screwdriver is from a socket wrench." He handed me the magnetic rod, and patted my shoulder. "Them kids need a Daddy, too, if you don't mind me saying."
Instead of grabbing the senior citizen by the collar and giving him the what-for, I watched him lumber off to his next customer/victim. What's the use in arguing with a future patient?
Posted by Tish at November 6, 2005 06:46 PM
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Comments
"Where is your husband, Girl?" He would have instantly died where he stood if he said that to my bride. A car salesman said that to her once and the showroom floor still has an 9X12 roadkill stain - 6 years later.
She's no femi-nazi, but she does have her own tool box, has put up ceiling fans, wallpapered, done elecrical work, minor plumbing, pounded nails and is fully capable to do anything I can.
About those curtains; we just tape newspaper over the glass. That way there's no rods, sewing, washing, etc. Ya just buy another newspaper or take one out of the neighbors garbage and you're good to go , again! Pretty slick, huh?
Posted by: Mike (ex scientia) at November 6, 2005 08:06 PM
I agree with your title. I agree with your title.
I've had it with that place...every dirty, dusty, unswept square inch of the place.
Posted by: Paul N. at November 6, 2005 09:29 PM
Oh I can just "feel" your frustration.... I have been there and done that. Best part is that when it comes to fixing stuff around the house it normally ends up being my job anyway.
Posted by: Staircase365 at November 7, 2005 02:19 AM
Well, Sherlene, you just mosey on home with your magnetic rod and ask some good ol' boy to attach some metal tabs to your fiberglass door, then you can put rod right up. You do have a man at home, don't ya? If not, better get one. They're in short supply.
Posted by: old horsetail snake at November 7, 2005 09:58 AM
I've have been there, I have done that, but I wasn't so nice. I had built shelves and I wanted to buy a router bit to make the keyhole in the back to hang them with. The guy told me I didn't want to do that, it was really hard and I would mess it up. He told me to just go BUY pre-made shelves. I said, "I already made the shelves. The whole point is to give my son something that I MADE, now tell me where I can find the GODDAMN router bit!" I've been asked not to return.... men get all frazzled by a woman who knows her power tools.
Posted by: Bea at November 7, 2005 01:19 PM
The clue of pending *arg* should have been when you heard the mention of "trailer" ;)
Posted by: Skunkfeathers at November 7, 2005 01:24 PM
I am so with you on this post!
Posted by: Ileana at November 7, 2005 03:18 PM