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January 14, 2006

Sometimes they do listen

Parenting a daughter in this day and age is a little like learning how to rollerskate on ice with a blindfold - you are never sure of where you are and if you could see where you are, you'd be scared out of your wits.  The world has put innocence on fast forward so that they can sell sex to eight year olds and feel good about it.  It's all a mother or father can do to protect what used to be the norm, but we try.
Yesterday, Drama Diva faced her first challenge as a girl.  It seems that a boy in her class, third grade mind you, has a crush on her.  Instead of writing her the sappy love note with a crayon, or waiting until Valentine's Day to give her extra chocolate, he brought one of his grandmother's rings to school and dropped to one knee in the lunch line to ask her to be his girlfriend.  At first glance, this is cute and heartwarming...but not in third grade.  Third grade is meant for tomboys, unicorns, and learning cursive.  It's kickball, hula hoops, and rated G movies. 
 
The easy thing to do would have been to accept this adorable proposal but...and here's where my throat lumps up and my pride swells, she repeated to him what I had taught her:  "We are too young to do this.  Let's be friends right now."  The kicker?  SHE MEANT IT.  
 
She told me her heart was jumping out of her chest and all she could think was I wish my momma was here to help me.  And I guess I was, in a way.  For the past three years, she has watched friends in her class 'going together' fight, break up, and trade expensive gifts at Christmas, Valentine's Day, and birthdays.  At first it disturbed her that I didn't approve of it, until one day this summer she felt uncomfortable being called 'hot' by a seven year old.  That day, she understood that she wants to be a little girl until she isn't anymore, and then she will grow up when she is ready.  Not by the world's stopwatch, not by the media's rules, but by what is right, decent, and moral.
 
I feel bad for the brave young man that has good taste in girls, but hopefully he will remember this in twenty years when his little girl is born. 
 
 
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Posted by Tish at January 14, 2006 12:39 PM

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Comments

That's a bright, well-raised young lady!

Posted by: Skunkfeathers at January 14, 2006 12:45 PM

A friendly pat on the head from Hoss to C. You did perfect, kid.

Posted by: old horsetail snake at January 14, 2006 02:32 PM

You've done a good job with her--with both of them, for that matter. You should be very proud!

Posted by: Celeste at January 14, 2006 02:52 PM

Excellent answer! I see the Tish legacy is in good hands! I'd be very proud if she was my daughter so I'm sure you are!

Posted by: Stegbeetle at January 14, 2006 03:51 PM

Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm proud of you. What a great job in teaching a child to enjoy being a child. To experience all that is coming without clouding it with boys and acting grown-up when it's just not time yet.
Problem is, and it's apparent by the boy's actions so many parents want a 16 year old in third grade. I think that's why a lot of people try home schooling, to avoid that.
I don't think that's possible.
It remains for us as parents to give a child their childhood and help them. I didn't know it was that far down in ages. My best for you and especially to her, whatever your doing, it's working.

P.S., thank for the mention at Sundries, you are all class.

Posted by: Paul of York at January 14, 2006 04:07 PM

This is so sad on multiple levels that I don't have words.

One by one, we-society have woven black threads through the tapestries of childhood, family, marriage and God. Today, even the best intentioned, have difficulty remembering the beauty of the original creation.

Posted by: Mike (exscientia) at January 14, 2006 05:27 PM

I don't think I had discovered girls in third grade. Maybe I was just slow.

Posted by: FTS at January 14, 2006 08:28 PM

Yes! [...thrusts fist in the air.]

Posted by: Paul N. at January 15, 2006 08:05 AM

You're a good Mama Miss Tish!

I HATE that kids don't get to be kids anymore. What's the rush to grow up? It's a bit overrated in my book ;-)

Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at January 16, 2006 09:02 AM

YAY. I am proud of her and of you for teaching her so well. That's such a perfect example of great parenting.

My own little girl just turned 13 on Sunday. It was kind of cool, because in the post about her, we ended up with 13 comments. They haven't had that problem yet, but I know it's coming.

Posted by: Joe Cool Cowboy Poet at January 17, 2006 11:18 PM

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