« Sometimes they do listen | Main | Am I wrong in thinking... »
January 14, 2006
Men of The Bible Interviews: Adam
Welcome to the first Bible Interview for 2006, and it's sure to be one to remember. The first man, Adam, has graciously taken a break from inventing a new operating system to chat with us.
Adam: Give me just a moment, Tish. Eve's on the phone again about something.
Tish: Not a problem.
3 HOURS LATER
Adam: Now where were we?
Tish: (yawning and wiping sleep from eyes) What time is it?
Adam: I am sorry about that - Eve had an idea on how to rename giraffes, which always sparks the conversation of why I was the first one created, and blah blah. You get the picture.
Tish: I interviewed her last April and she mentioned your naming of animals. Hippotamases, I believe was one of her issues.
Adam: What else did she say? That woman always talks behind my back.
Tish: I'd rather talk about you, Adam. You were made in God's image. How does that feel?
Adam: Honestly, it's a lot of pressure. Between Brad Pitt and that Matthew McConan-whatever, I can't compete on the physical plane. However, I highly doubt either one of them could have named the animals or given up their rib to make a woman. In the Garden of Eden, six pack abs don't mean as much as intelligence, let me assure you of that fact.
Tish: You mentioned Eve's creation. Did it hurt?
Adam: What do you think? God put me to sleep, but there was no Codeine tree or Morphine bush in Eden.
Tish: Yours is the first recorded marriage, so I would think that would qualify you as an expert.
Adam: I guess that's true. Not according to Eve, though.
Tish: What would you tell my male readers about successful marriages?
Adam: Will she read this? (leans forward) Okay, here's what I know: Don't let her talk you into wearing new clothes, especially when you KNOW they are poison ivy leaves and she says of course they aren't but when you break out in a rash she accuses you of always making her look bad. And food - don't eat anything you know isn't approved by the Big Guy, if you know what I mean. (taps chin in thought) And if you can, find an excuse to leave the Garden during that 'bad' time of the month. I'm sure there's more but your readers will have to figure it out on their own.
Tish: There is just so much more I have to ask you, Adam. Do you think we could continue this conversation next week? Maybe my readers will have some questions of their own as well.
Adam: (cell phone rings in pocket) Hold on a sec, Tish. Hello ....Eve, I'll be home in five minutes....just a minute, okay? Tish, I can find some time next weekend, okay? Excuse me. Eve, no, it's nobody....the interview I told you about....
Tish leaves Adam to his conversation with Eve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay tuned next week for the second half of Adam's interview. Feel free to send any questions or comments for him via the comments below and remember, there is no such thing as a dumb question....unless you ask if the small bumps on cruise control buttons are Braille.
Posted by Tish at January 14, 2006 09:46 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.tishasharp.com/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/398
Comments
Oh, there ARE dumb questions. The Alito hearings proved that fact. Whoever said there are no dumb questions the first time - Adam? .... naw, I'm betting on some Sales and Marketing guy accompanied by a toothy grin. Ya think?
Posted by: Mike (exscientia) at January 15, 2006 07:16 AM
Adam: Uh, who performed this wedding ceremony? I mean, there were only two of you around....
Also, what church do you go to? I'm sure a lot of readers will be curious to know.
Posted by: old horsetail snake at January 15, 2006 12:19 PM
Yeah...what Hoss said.
Posted by: poopie at January 15, 2006 02:44 PM
yeah I agree with Hoss. Ask Adam who ordained or whatever the marriage.
Posted by: meeta at January 15, 2006 11:45 PM
...so Adam woke up and ran over to meet the beautiful new creature in his garden. But only a few minutes later he ran back to where he was.
"God! God!" he called.
"Yes, Adam?"
"God, what's a headache?"
Posted by: Paul N. at January 17, 2006 12:16 PM