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January 17, 2006
Body Language isn't foreign, just complicated
In a perfect world, body language would come with a handbook, a glossary, and in case of emergency, a full color poster. Instead, we depend on so-called experts that interpret every innocent flinch, eye twitch, or muscle cramp as committment issues, unresolved anger, or passive aggressive tendencies. To avoid these and other potential labels, try some of these postures in your daily life:
Slightly closed eyes: When faced with a situation you'd rather not have a decisive opinion, this countenance will definitely take you off the hook in delicate circumstances (picking out wallpaper, etc)One tip, though, don't try this when driving, pulled over for speeding, or purchasing tobacco related products.
Tapping your nose, cheek, and then chin while speaking to a flawless looking person: Unless you have the self esteem of Oprah AND Ghandi, these Ken and Barbie people wreak havoc on your psyche. To improve your chances in public while standing next to the manniquins, this gesture will have a ripple effect that eventually send them into the bathroom with facial tissues and tea tree oil.
Biting lips into your mouth: Most of the time, this represents contained anger but if used in conjunction with elevated eyebrows can be interpreted as big news coming OR better yet, a deflection of guilt to someone else. I caution you to use this no more than five times a year as it will lose its effectiveness.
I encourage you to integrate this knowledge into your workplace and homelife. Send me your own non verbal tips so we all can benefit from daily epiphanies found in awkward moments.
(Clearing my throat and looking at my watch) Thanks for reading. (Staring at the door) Good luck to you tomorrow.
(Opening the door for you) Button up, it's cold out there.
(Muffled sound from the other side of the door) GEEZ, why can't they get the hint?!?!?
Posted by Tish at January 17, 2006 07:52 PM
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Comments
so what is the significance of nose picking? wiping it on my pants? wiping it on your pants?
does that mean anything?
Posted by: tommy at January 17, 2006 10:34 PM
I like the scrunching of eyebrows resulting in skin-folds above the nose, squinting eyes and an annoyed look which can claim to be a quizzical look if your boss catches you looking at him/her.
Tish, you do have people down. Those last few lines....so that's what they were trying to tell me!
Posted by: Paul of York at January 17, 2006 10:44 PM
When I was young we flew a lot. My mom taught me that if the plane was ever hi-jacked, not to make eye contact. This makes you "invisible" in a way. I have now successful gotten through college on this trick alone.
Love the tapping the nose thing - that rocks.
Posted by: Keely at January 18, 2006 01:17 AM
Or walking over to the door and saying "Thanks for coming by, I REALLY appreciate it!"
For those who simply can NOT take a hint.
Come visit me will ya ;-)
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at January 18, 2006 09:50 AM
I tend toward an almost inaudible *uh huh*, which covers (a) I didn't hear and ain't gonna admit it (b) I heard it and it's stupid but I'm too mellow to say so (c) that's nice (without the revealing *yawn* (d) yeah, whatever (e) you expect me to be buy that, eh..okay, how much? (f) yep...sucks to be you ;)
Sometimes, I'll add in a reflexive *duck* when the nearest throwable object comes whizzing by...
Posted by: Skunkfeathers at January 18, 2006 11:15 AM
(Slyly removing wedding ring.) "Gee, I wonder if that babe has already noticed it?"
Posted by: old horsetail snake at January 18, 2006 01:07 PM
(me walking away from your cube) can't you tell i'm tired of listening to you yet?
(me working with my headphones on) can't you tell i really don't want to answer your question? and yes, i really am working.
(me pretenting to listen to music, but really just wearing my headphones) i'm just getting ammo for later, donchaknow?
Posted by: gwen at January 18, 2006 01:48 PM