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January 22, 2006
Men of the Bible: Adam, Part Two
Welcome back to the Men of The Bible Interviews! For the first time ever, we have a return guest to answer your questions as well new ones our staff has created.
Adam (with a black eye, sits on the loveseat alone): I almost didn't make it today.
Tish: Looks like you had a rough time. What happened?
Adam: Well, my son Cain and I went golfing, which was a mistake. He likes to fudge his score and I like to play the way God meant for us to, honestly. One thing led to another, I said something about how Abel wouldn't have cheated, and WHAMMO, the boy popped me square in the eye.
Tish: What did you do?
Adam: I didn't have to do anything. Eve grabbed him up by his hair and proceeded to give him a piece or two of her mind. If you don't know, a lecture from Eve is second only to Chinese Water Torture. I'd bet Cain was wishing for a lightning bolt right about now.
Tish: One of my readers had a question about you and Eve's 'marriage'. Was there a ceremony and if so, who officiated?
Adam: (rolls good eye) Do me a favor, if you run into Eve, don't ask her this question. "I never had a wedding" were the only words out of her mouth when Cain got married. What was I supposed to do? It wasn't like she had any other options or anything. When God made her, it was understood we were married.
Tish: I can understand her wanting the ceremony.
Adam: Yea, but who's gonna be her maid of honor? The giraffe? A platypus? Come on! And she goes on and on about not having a dress but what was there to wear? We were naked, I tell her.
Tish: You brought up your son, Cain. Could you see a difference early on between your sons? Any warning that Cain could harm his own brother?
Adam: I don't like to say that Cain is a bad seed. He made a bad choice like so many of your readers' children. As a parent, you can't stop loving your child because of what they do. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't grieve Abel but what do I do? Lose both sons?
Tish: Certainly it is a difficult position. I am sure every parent feels for you in this situation.
Adam: Let's talk about something else.
Tish: Of course. Another question my readers had was what church did you attend?
Adam: Church? I didn't have church per se like you do. I had walks with God, you see. Literal walks with the Big Guy himself. Who needs to sing hymns when you have one on one contact with the Lord himself?
Tish: Hadn't really thought of it that way, but good point.
Adam: (cell phone rings) Hold on a sec, Hello Eve....no, I didn't feed the iguana today....woman, it was your turn......I am not raising my voice, it's just that when we agree to take turns...I did not yell at you....look I have to go....No, I am doing that interview with Tish...hold on, I'll ask - Tish, will you be reinterviewing any of the women?
Tish: I wasn't planning on it.
Adam: She said no, Eve....I will do no such thing...hanging up now...GOODBYE!
Tish: The final question I have was one I thought of after we met last week. What was the Garden of Eden really like?
Adam: Think of every pore on your body tingling like after a massage, standing on velvet grass, and breathing in honeysuckle air, and you still cannot understand how great the Garden of Eden was. It was like nothing your people can find or create and more than we ever deserved in the first place.
Tish: I think that's it. Thanks for coming back.
Adam: The guys are excited you decided to include us in the Bible interviews. Just be careful when you get to Goliath. He's a little off in the head if you know what I mean. Big fan of that World Wrestling, that man is.
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Join us next week as we interview Cain and Abel, the world's first set of brothers and murderer/victim pair. Until then, remember that rain falls down but sunshine brightens everywhere - which will you be this week?
Posted by Tish at January 22, 2006 01:52 PM
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Comments
I see Adam and I agree about Goliath and his loose head.
Good one again, Tish. Looking forward to more.
Posted by: Paul N. at January 22, 2006 06:46 PM
I think Adam would have liked Ireland better. Ireland has no snakes.
Posted by: old horsetail snake at January 23, 2006 11:06 AM
Am I the only one disturbed by your choice of photos to represent Adam? Envisioning that man in a fig leaf or animal skins is just a bit much. Made me throw up a little in my mouth.
Posted by: sleepingmommy at January 23, 2006 02:55 PM