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January 29, 2006

Men of the Bible: Cain and Abel

cainandabel.jpg Today we meet with Cain and Abel, most likely the most famous brothers ever to walk the earth including the Menendez', Baldwins, and Kennedys.
Cain: How long is this gonna take?
Abel: Don't be rude.
Cain: Shut your piehole, kiss up. I have things to do.
Abel: Like what? Kill me?
Cain: Don't tempt me.
Tish: Please, let's act like adults.
Cain: Sure, take his side of it.
Tish: It's not taking a side. It's called civility, Cain.
Abel: Mom really did a number on you, didn't she?
Cain: Shut up Abel! Everyone knows you were her favorite.
Abel: That is such crap. You could have tried harder but instead you did everything your own way. There are rules for a reason.
Cain: Five minutes, Abel, and you won't be babbling any more.
Tish: Settle down right now.
Abel: What did you want to ask, Tish?
Cain: (mimicking) What did you want to ask? Geez, why don't you rub her feet while you are at it, brownnoser.
Abel: That's it. I've had enough out of you. (Stands with clenched fists)
Cain: (stands, bowed up at his brother) You want a piece of this, farm boy? Don't forget I work the fields every day while you sit on your butt tending the animals. I can mop the floor with you.
Abel: Let's see it. (raises fists into fighting stance)
Tish: SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW or this interview is over.
Cain: Fine by me, lady. I've got some business to finish and it doesn't involve you or your readers.

A fight ensues which prompts Tish's hasty retreat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Join us next week as we have lunch with Noah and his three sons. I promised Noah's wife it would be in a non-alcoholic restaurant.
Until then, forget what made you angry today - tomorrow brings another opportunity.

Posted by Tish at January 29, 2006 05:46 PM

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Comments

While there was a homicide, was there a murder? No one had died before Abel’s death. Premeditated malice to the extent of murder wasn’t a concept with which anyone had knowledge.

If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit. Did you see that lighting, too???

Posted by: Mike at January 29, 2006 07:06 PM

Great advice.

Posted by: poopie at January 29, 2006 10:14 PM

And all this time I thought Cain was a poor little misunderstood Iraqi boy.

Posted by: old horsetail snake at January 30, 2006 12:16 PM

you should've known that cain was the troublemaker from the beginning.

I'm laughing at Hoss

Posted by: meeta at January 30, 2006 01:15 PM

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