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February 16, 2006
Welcome to Soma-ville
One warning they don't print on the label of muscle relaxers and/or pain killers is DO NOT WATCH SCARY MOVIES, OLYMPIC MALE SKATING, OR 'INVASION' WHILE USING THIS MEDICATION. Now I am all paranoid that there are aliens in the pond near us, just waiting for the kids to wander near so they can abduct them and turn them into sequined ice skaters from Botswana. God help me.
Between the fog of drugs and fifteen ice bags, my mind has concocted three scenerios for tomorrow's MRI. Which is your favorite?
A) During the MRI, they discover that near my occipital lobe resides my small twin, Tasha, who will demand release from this hideous prison of a body and an immediate transplant into her idol, Paula Zahn.
B) During the MRI, three masked bandits storm the center, and take all of us hostage. Since I will be drugged with Ativan, I will of course channel Trinity from the Matrix Trilogy, and proceed to spin kick all of them into submission.
C) Upon waking from the MRI, a completely different husband will greet me speaking a foreign language. He will drive me home in a VOLVO, to a split level home where three platinum blonde children also speaking the foreign language will run to embrace me. My bewilderment increases when a MAID, BUTLER, and PERSONAL ASSISTANT greet me in the large foyer.
Just imagine if I'd been given oxycontin. I could be a radio talk show host. Just kidding, Rush.
Posted by Tish at February 16, 2006 06:56 PM
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Comments
I always kinda enjoyed an MRI. It was the only time I could nap.
Posted by: Mamacita at February 16, 2006 07:57 PM
I kinda like Option #2, being into action flicks ;)
Posted by: Skunkfeathers at February 16, 2006 08:22 PM
Far out, Tish. I think the drugs are working, those are three cool scenarios.
Let's see, for you, a variation of "C", if that's allowed. The same husband and kids but with a Volvo, Maid, Butler, Personal Assistant and, oh yeah, you hit the lottery for $200 million while you were in that device.
You don't even need shoulders.
Listen, if you really want the kids abducted, we can work that in there.
Posted by: Paul of York at February 16, 2006 09:17 PM
Must be some good drugs... channeling Trinity is SUCH a cool image!
I hope your MRI is quick and painless, and they are able to tell exactly what is wrong and how to repair it effortlessly! Thinking good thoughts!!
I finally got your link updated - I've been slacking, but am glad to be back! :)
Posted by: texas biscuit at February 16, 2006 09:28 PM
I personally liked the third scenario. I mean who wouldn't want a maid and a butler??
Posted by: meeta at February 16, 2006 10:11 PM
While I'd love to see you have "C," I believe "A" is a more realistic plot. I'm always ready for the parasitic twin twist.
Flexeril used to give me nightmares. I'd wake up in that "I swear it was real" panic. It was HORRIBLE. Pretty bad when the side effects are worse than whatever ails you to begin with. Sheesh.
Hang in there.
Posted by: Kris/Goob at February 16, 2006 11:02 PM
I warned you. Your body is making a carisoprodol commentary. Hopefully, you'll turn this page soon.;)
Posted by: Mike (exscientia) at February 17, 2006 07:04 AM
"I'll have what she's having..."
Posted by: Paul N. at February 17, 2006 09:36 AM
During the MRI the tunnel collapses, and mooshes you into something resembling a birthday cake, which proves especially succulent because it only has 29 candles.
Posted by: old horsetail snake at February 17, 2006 04:18 PM
Wow, those are some serious fantasies you have going there.
Posted by: sleeping mommy at February 17, 2006 06:16 PM
"...sequined ice skaters from Botswana..." Yep, you're on drugs.
Posted by: Patrick Joubert Conlon at February 17, 2006 06:46 PM