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October 09, 2006
Mad Cow disease?
I may have to call Oprah.
All this time, I've been a proponent for all things beef. Beef tips, sirloin, fajitas, hamburgers, meatloaf, the list is endless.
But today, I was attacked by a mad cow and luckily for me, I had a camera to capture my agony.
Note the discoloration where the COW broke my big toe. It's a blur, but maybe I can tell it without breaking down. I mean, I can't even go near.....hold on....
THE REFRIDGERATOR.
Okay, so it wasn't an actual cow, but it was part of a cow. I think. Like many of you, I shop at Sam's to buy in bulk that once home I divide into smaller portions for freezing. Hamburger meat is like water in this house, so when I can find, oh, maybe a fifty pound pallet for twenty bucks, I am all over it.
What I failed to remember, however, (at 6 AM, mind you) was that one of the sixty two freezer bags full of said hamburger meat (now known as DEFENDANT) was lurking on the highest door shelves. I could be wrong, but I think the frozen squash AND brussel sprouts put the DEFENDANT up to it, as HE divebombed to my foot as I attempted to extricate breakfast items for Drama Diva and Casper. Those damn vegetables can be spiteful but it was the DEFENDANT'S actions that broke my toe and now has caused irreparable damage to my daily life. Patients are laughing at my limp which doesn't exactly curry respect for my profession, does it?
One lawyer actually listened to my case for about five minutes until I mentioned the freezer bag.
He wanted to know what brand.
And after a long pause, he hung up on me.
I think we need a grass roots campaign.
And I threw away those evil frozen veggies. Guess I showed them.
Posted by Tish at October 9, 2006 10:07 PM
Comments
OUCH! I'm so sorry :-(
I know from experience how spiteful those damn vegetables can be.
Oh and you got mail.
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 10, 2006 06:34 AM
IT WAS PUSHED! FREE THE HAMBURGER 11!!!
Posted by: mdmhvonpa at October 10, 2006 09:06 AM
Ouch! Is your toe really broken? It looks very sore.
Posted by: cassie-b at October 10, 2006 09:40 AM
Like executing the vegetables broke Casper and Drama Diva's heart.
Are YOU sure they are not behind this? Only, they probably just wanted to bruise your toe, not break it.
Yeah, why don't you call that Miracle Worker, Dr. Phil, instead of Oprah? He's been known to kiss.....things. Why not toes?
I am sorry, Tish, that had to wake up the house, if not the city. I hope you sought an xray.
Posted by: Paul of York at October 10, 2006 03:44 PM
Better un-list your phone number, PETV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegapittles) will be after you, constantly calling and playing veggie death screams, picketing your house, calling their Congressmen...
Posted by: Serra at October 10, 2006 06:13 PM
Ouch! You were so very right to toss the veggies. Whatever possessed you to keep veggies in the freezer anyway?? You had to know that could only end badly.
Posted by: Monique at October 10, 2006 06:15 PM
Nice pedicure. Maybe, try wearing steel-toed boots the next time you approach the freezer. I hear another attack is being planned.
Posted by: pennyhalston at October 10, 2006 07:13 PM
Do I have to come down there and clean out that damn freezer???????
Posted by: Ignatius Dedd at October 11, 2006 04:33 PM
Geez, that's terrible. I bet it smells like ass.
Posted by: Old Horsetail Snake at October 11, 2006 06:24 PM